I.

I run from the danger —

the danger of

loving, feeling, choosing.

I’m worried if I

listen too closely

I’ll discover something is missing.

That maybe the delusion

I feel is simply just that,

delusion.

Hallucinations of a lifetime

that will probably never happen.

That maybe the gut feeling

I choose to believe, rely on,

live by is laced with

anxiety, dread, and fear.

I mean, how can I truly

trust that gut feeling

when in moments I should be experiencing

joy, I feel anger.

when in moments I should be scared of

the mundane,

I’m scared of feeling the extraordinary things

he makes me feel.

I hope some day trusting myself

is as easy as the simple things in life.