i’m sorry

I’ve apologized for things where an apology was never warranted,

so many times that the words “i’m sorry” sound like foreign languages to me.

“I’m sorry” i’m crying because I feel lonely talking to the man laying next to me.

“I’m sorry” i’ve begged you for more.

“I’m sorry” for wanting a future with a man I’ve loved since our first summer.

I’ve redacted so many plans from the outline of my life.

Deleted photographs of rings I wish to wear someday on the fourth finger of my left hand.

Erased baby names from the daydreams dancing in my imagination.

Every apology I’ve felt the need to make, kills me with every breath I take.

It’s alright, love, I’ll swallow the lump in my throat, and let the knife cut deeper into my beating heart.

I’m sorry for the stains I’ll leave.