surviving is drinking a coffee with my Mom
because she loves the taste
all while sometimes wishing I didnt wake up.
surviving is being numb
but sitting in the kitchen
talking to my Dad when I actually
want to curl up in bed forever.
surviving is reading the bible to
my boyfriend even though
I feel far from God.
some days it feels like my survival isn't for me,
but for the people who show me love.
my survival is a way of proving my deepest love for them by staying when I dont want to.
because surviving is just for others at times.