words will never be able to explain the amount of love I’ve received the last 94 days. & that thought is difficult for me to have considering most of my life, days & seconds revolve around putting my thoughts on paper.
being the most transparent I can be in this moment, I will tell you: I am difficult. I am difficult to be around, to love, to be with. I am very strong & resilient to a fault — I will carry the weight of the world on my shoulders until the universe comes crashing down.
never in my wildest dreams would I have thought a man like Kells would love me.
because that man has loved me when I’m singing in the car.
and giggling.
or crying.
he’s loved me in my silence.
he’s held me when my body is numb, when my brain tells me I dont want to continue, and when nothing feels right.
he has followed me out to the front yard in the middle of the night when I want to runaway.
he’s pulled me back in.
he’s let me go and have space.
I have dealt with bipolar disorder for four years now & mental health issues for over ten.
no one has been able to give me the sun in the absolute darkness like kellen has.
I just hope to do the same for him because he deserves the stars.
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